©2004
The Marriage Transformation Newsletter
Empowering people to create happy, lasting,  spiritually-based
marriages—the foundation of a prosperous, unified world 
January 2005 Volume 2, Issue 1


© 2005
Marriage Transformation LLC


Sharing is encouraged: The newsletter may be forwarded, copied and pasted into a message, or  printed in its entirety; please ask permission for any other use.

Note: Marriage Transformation is a trademarked term, and the project logo is copyrighted and trademarked. It may not be used for any purpose other than representing the Marriage Transformation Project.
 


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Inside This Issue

Project Message

Gifts of Love and Joy

Smart Marriages

Marriage Preparation Book Nearly out of Print

Researchers Needed

We Want To Hear
From You!

Workshops in The News

The Reading Room

Golden Nuggets

Listserves/
Newsletter Subscriptions

Contact Us

 

 

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First Year Anniversary

This is the first anniversary for our monthly
e-newsletter! Please continue to share it with your family and friends!

 

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Featured Item
New Booklet!

Makes a great companion to Pure Gold!

"This should be on
every married couple's bedside table as great bedtime reading..."

~ Diane Sollee,
Founder and Director of smartmarriages.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Marriage Transformation Project is a global social and economic development project committed to marriage education and marriage skill building for people at all stages of relationships. In addition to our own independent work in developing materials, we draw on the work of marriage researchers and experts. We also derive part of our inspiration and content from the teachings of the world's religions. These include the following faiths: Baha'i, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, and Zoroastrian.

Click here for further
project information.

 

 

Marriage Transformation Message
From
Susanne Alexander and Craig Farnsworth

As we've traveled over the last few weeks, made presentations, and done workshops with almost 2500 people, we began sharing a new model we developed to represent marriage preparation and marriage enrichment. We are now sharing it with you, and welcome your input about its usefulness and anything that might be missing.


© 2005 Marriage Transformation LLC

As our marriage preparation and enrichment work has grown, we developed a diagram of a home to represent the major components of what it takes to build and maintain a happy, lasting marriage. The individuals' character forms through a couple's experiences and choices, and their ability to communicate develops. As they approach marriage, the couple begins to see how they interact and where their skill development needs lie. They go through an effective process together that establishes their marriage on a firm foundation. The components of this process are:

  • Essential to the couple is a spiritual life, which includes worshipping God/The Creator, and a commitment for the individuals and couple to follow His Will.

  • The couple then engages in getting to know one another's character and participates in full communication to build the relationship. If the couple proceeds into marriage, they learn to communicate in ways that support and nurture one another's character qualities. Communication skills assist the couple to share thoughts and feelings and build a bond of understanding between them.

  • The floor of the home is the principle of the equality of women and men. This principle provides a base for the couple as they develop mutual respect, consultative decision-making, and a balance of responsibilities.

  • The home's door represents the couple's friendship and their friendliness toward others.  The bond of friendship the couple forms provides a strong basis for a lasting relationship.

  • Compatibility forms the ceiling of the home and connects both the man and the woman. The couple explores one another's beliefs, experiences, and behaviors together related to a diversity of topics such as children, handling problems, money, intimacy, communication, and more. They determine whether they can work together harmoniously within marriage, bridging their differences and creating unity.

  • The two sides of the roof are raised in loving cooperation with one another's families. These sides are commitment to one another and building family unity. As the couple gets to know one another, they also build relationships with family members. A marriage between the couple brings families together. For some faiths, the marriage only happens after parental consent as a means of building family unity.

  • From within the home, and all of its components, love is nurtured and shared with warmth. This is the magnetic and cohesive force that brings and holds the couple together, and connects them to the love of God. This love then spreads outside the home to others.

Love,
Craig and Susanne

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Gifts of Love and Joy Coming Soon!

Give someone you love the gift of love and joy this February with three wonderful and simple gift packages! Watch your email inboxes this week for more details about our unique two-week sale!

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Smart Marriages Conference

MARK YOUR CALENDAR AND PLAN TO ATTEND!

Consider how extraordinary your relationship and marriage could be if authors and top marriage researchers, such as John Gray, Howard Markman, and John Gottman, shared valuable knowledge with you about strengthening your marriage or marriage education.

The Smart Marriages Conference, held June 23-26, 2005 in Dallas, Texas, brings you over 200 marriage and family experts and over 140 courses to attend. You will learn the latest ideas in the field of marriage and family education and explore practical ways to strengthen marriage and prevent family breakdown. Pre- and Post-Conference training sessions in the days before and after the conference provide marriage educator training and certification opportunities.

We are encouraging as many people as possible to participate in this great opportunity! This is especially vital for anyone wishing to be a marriage educator for their community. For those students interested in volunteering and attending the entire conference on a work-exchange, please contact conference director Diane Sollee at diane@smartmarriages.com for an application. Pre- and Post-conference institutes volunteer opportunities are also available.

For more details, visit www.smartmarriages.com today! Registration opens in February!

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"Marriage Can Be Forever-Preparation Counts! Second Edition"
Nearly Out-of-Print

We'd like to thank all those who have purchased the second edition of Marriage Can Be Forever--Preparation Counts! during the last year and a half! We have sold almost 2000 copies and are now essentially out of print. We currently have limited stock available. Be sure to check our website often for updated availability.

Our plan is to replace this edition with a series of smaller and more focused books. Watch for future announcements!

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Researchers Needed

Do you like to go beyond the surface and search for details?
Would you like to learn more about marriage and marriage education?

If so, we are looking for people like you to join our research team! Below is our current assessment of potential research areas.  Please contact Susanne at susanne@marriagetransformation.com today if you or someone you know are willing and able to volunteer** and help!

Where we are doing well:
* Financial monitoring
* Evaluation forms for workshops (although perhaps we aren't asking the   best/standardized questions!)

Where we need to improve:
* Follow-up with workshop attendees to assess impact/outcome/learning from   participation in the workshop
* Assessment of pre-marriage and marriage education needs/wants among both   single and married people and their parents
* Evaluating current relationship challenges (single, married, and their parents)
* Studying the impact of marriage education on religious community life
* Assessing the current marriage resources and needs of the following faith   communities:  Baha'i, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Zoroastrian, Buddhist (note, the   Christian community is already being well served; we are unsure about the   others)
* Gathering feedback on Marriage Transformation publications
* Character experts and researchers globally
* Survey of parents' and children's' experiences with parental consent for   marriage
* Survey of couple's experiences with using consultation as a communication
  tool
* Others?

**Please note: We are currently unable to pay researchers.  If you are aware of someone who might be willing to subsidize your time on the project, however, please let us know.  We had an intern this summer whose college paid the majority of her salary.

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We Want To Hear From YOU!

We believe your relationships and marriages are vitally important and, each month, we are eager to share exciting information and tools with you! We'd love to hear from you how you are benefiting from our newsletter or how we can enhance it to better serve your needs! Please email us and share your thoughts with us! Here's some ideas to get you started:

* Are the articles included in the newsletter helpful?
* What topics are important to you?
* What would you like to see covered in upcoming issues?

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Workshops in the News

Married Couples Retreat
Location: Green Acre Baha'i School in Eliot, Maine
Dates: February 11-13, 2005

Join us for a fun and stimulating marriage renewal weekend! This participatory and skill-building marriage enrichment session will help married (and engaged) couples create stronger, more spiritual relationships. Participants will explore couple communication, spiritual life, equality, service and time choices, managing money, supporting marriages during transitions, and more through a variety of activities and discussions. Romantic Saturday night candlelit dinner and dancing included. Register today through www.greenacre.org.

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Marriage Preparation and Marriage Workshops
Location: Ottawa, Ontario Canada
Dates:
April 30 - May 1, 2005

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Hamilton Workshop - POSTPONED
Location: Hamilton, Ontario Canada
Dates:
TBA

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The Reading Room

1001 Questions to Ask Before Your Get Married
Monica Mendez Leahy, 2004, ISBN: 0071438033

This is an excellent and very detailed marriage preparation tool. It's not just lists of questions either. Leahy includes helpful text around them and some worksheets to complete as well. She covers the past, in-laws, significant others, children, religion and spirituality, race and culture, daily life, leisure time, finances, physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, special circumstances (like marrying someone in the military or in prison), and the wedding. She ends with communication and marriage builders.

Golden Nuggets of Information ...

... Check out our recommended resources and books!
... You can now automatically order new products!
... You'll receive our newsletter in text format with a link to the graphic/html     version!

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Listserves/Newsletter Subscriptions

At our recent conferences, many people expressed interest in becoming marriage educators. In response, we created a new listserve for anyone wanting to learn more or become involved in marriage education! Join today and help transform marriages!

MarriageTransformationEducator-Subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Get the latest news about marriage and The Marriage Transformation Project as it happens! Join our announcement listserve today!

MarriageTransformation-Subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Did a friend forward this newsletter to you and now you want to receive your own copy each month in your email inbox? To sign up for this newsletter, go to our home page, www.marriagetransformation.com, and register in the "Newsletter Sign Up" box!

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Please contact us at staff@marriagetransformation.com or (216) 383-9943 if you have any questions or comments, requests for subject matter to be covered in the newsletter, need to change your email address, or want further information about the Marriage Transformation Project. If you wish to unsubscribe from this newsletter, please click on the link below.

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Marriage Transformation Project

P.O. Box
23085
Cleveland, OH 44123 USA

Phone: (216) 383-9943

Fax: (216) 383-9953


E-mail:

staff@marriagetransformation.com

www.marriagetransformation.com

Newsletter content
by Susanne Alexander and
Joyce Ashman

Newsletter Layout
and Design
by Joyce Ashman