|
|
The Marriage Transformation Newsletter Walking a Path to a Spiritually-Based Marriage A Newsletter by the Marriage Can Be Forever Project Empowering people
to create happy, lasting,
spiritually-based marriages—the foundation of a unified, prosperous
world |
|
February/March 2004 |
Volume 1, Issue 2 |
|
Ó 2004
Marriage Can Be Forever Project Newsletter may be forwarded,
shared, or printed in its entirety; any other use requires permission. Y Y Y Y
Y Inside This Issue
Y Y Y
Y Y Under
Construction! Our website, www.marriagecanbeforever.com, is undergoing a transformation! Check back often for exciting updates, such as a new online store that’s coming soon. Featured Item
Click here to learn more! |
Project Message
From Susanne and Craig Thoughts
About Criticism, Consultation, Praise, and Encouragement We
recently read in John Gottman’s Why Marriages Succeed or Fail that
being critical of your spouse’s character can be highly destructive to
relationships. This type of speech is a personal attack rather than a
complaint, which is a negative comment about something you wish were
different. Couples who address issues as they arise through prayerful
consultation are more likely to avoid the downward spiral that occurs from
unaddressed complaints escalating into character attacks. A character attack
is identifiable by the inclusion of one of the character virtues in your
speech in a negative way (see Chapter 6 in our book for a list of these
qualities). For instance, “You can’t
be trusted” or “You’re always unkind.” Couples
can build their relationships praising each other sincerely. Be cautious that
it doesn’t include a comparison between your spouse and someone else (“You’re
so much better at yard work than our neighbor is, dear.”). Connected to this
is the powerful influence that encouragement offers to each other. When
someone feels that their spouse is supportive of them, he/she can stretch to
accomplish new and creative endeavors. Using the character qualities in this
instance builds the relationship (“You were very patient in helping me
put this desk together, honey.”). We wish
you well in your efforts to keep your speech focused on the positive! With
love, Susanne
& Craig The marriage preparation facilitator’s guidebook is progressing through editing and proofreading with April still looking likely for publication. The title and an advance sales announcement should be ready soon. "Both Eyes Open—The Adventure of Relationships" Marriage Preparation Weekend Workshop Location: Gwinnett County South, Georgia,
USA (suburb of Atlanta) Dates: May 14 (evening), May 15 (all
day), May 16 (partial-day) Registration will open in
approximately mid-March, so stay tuned for details!! "Both Eyes Open—The Adventure of Relationships"Marriage Preparation
Week-Long Course Location: Bosch Baha'i School, California Dates: August 21-26, 2004 For registration and
information, visit www.bosch.org Mini-WorkshopsInsights Young Adults/Professionals Conference
Includes sessions on Seeking a Mate, Strengthening New
Marriages, and Supporting Young Families Location: Louhelen Baha'i School Davison,
Michigan, USA Conference Dates: April
23, 24, & 25 2004 Visit www.louhelen.org/programs.htm
or write insights_2004@hotmail.com
for
more details! Unravel the Mysteries Young Adult Conference Includes session on relationships and marriage preparation Location: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada Workshop Date: Saturday May 8,
2004 2:45 – 4:00 pm Conference Dates: May 7, 8, 9, 2004 Visit www.bahaiworld.com/conference/ca/unravel/
to learn more! |
|
Marriage Can Be Forever Project P.O. Box 23085 Cleveland, OH 44123 USA Phone: (216) 383-9943 Fax: (216) 383-9953 Newsletter content by Susanne Alexander Newsletter Layout and
Design by |
Smart Marriages Conference July 6 - 14, 2004, Dallas, Texas We encourage anyone interested in marriage
education, establishing strong marriages, and maintaining their marriages to
join us as participants for all or part of the annual Smart Marriages
Conference. Registration is now open, and hotel rooms are going fast.
Information about the conference and hotel accommodations can be found at www.smartmarriages.com. We invite people to join us in sharing the
Marriage Can Be Forever Project at the conference (give out flyers; wear a
project button), so please let us know at staff@claricomm.com if you
register. It would be great to see you all there! The Reading Room
John M. Gottman,
Ph.D.; 1999; ISBN: 0609805797 Gottman is one of the foremost marriage researchers in the US and has helpful indicators for how to maintain a marriage. He addresses divorce indicators, conflict resolution, and how to increase and strengthen the marital bond. Very accessible language, tone, and activities. Consent of
Parents
1-800-999-9019, or
Unity Arts, www.bahaibooksonline.com,
(416) 609-9900 Skeaff has written an in-depth look at the process of
parents giving or denying consent for couples to marry. The book is based on the scripture of the Baha’i Faith, which
requires parental consent as a means of building family unity. Excerpt
from the upcoming facilitator’s guidebook, character activities: Have one person in a small group
identify a situation with someone of the opposite gender when he/she
over-reacted to something that was said or something that happened. Discuss: 1. What character quality might have
been missing in the situation? 2. How would the situation have been
different if it had been used? 3. What are the characteristics of
this quality? 4. What would motivate developing and
using it another time? 5. What two things could the person
do over the next couple of days to practice it? 6. How could the person tell if they
were making progress in developing it? 7. How could the person encourage or
reward him/herself for making progress? Listserves Note: It's best to be on the main project
listserve as well as whichever specialty listserve fits for your interests.
We will do our best to avoid posting the same information to more than one
list. Best way to get project-related news and announcements: For discussions about marriage and relationship-related topics: For parents to discuss assisting their children with
relationships: For facilitators or those interested in facilitating:
Please feel free to contact us at staff@claricomm.com or 216-383-9943 if
you have any questions or comments, would like to discontinue receiving this
newsletter, change your email address, or want further information about the
Marriage Can Be Forever Project. A BIG “Thank You” goes out to Allen Tyrone
Johnson (www.projectmelody.com)
for his excellent help with formatting this newsletter! > Index |
