Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before (And After) You Marry
1995; ISBN: 0310492408
©2004 The Marriage Transformation Newsletter
Empowering people to create happy, lasting, spiritually-based
marriages—the foundation of a prosperous, unified world
Empowering people to create happy, lasting, spiritually-based
marriages—the foundation of a prosperous, unified world
| August 2004 |
Volume 1, Issue 5 |
© 2004
Marriage Transformation Project
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A Marriage Enrichment Guide Like You've Never Seen Before!
The Marriage Transformation Project is a global social and economic development project committed to marriage education and marriage skill building for people at all stages of relationships. In addition to our own independent work in developing materials, we draw on the work of marriage researchers and experts. We also derives part of our inspiration and content from the teachings of the world's religions. These include the following faiths: Baha'i, Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, and Zoroastrian.
Click here for further project information.
From Susanne Alexander and Craig Farnsworth If you feel as if you just received the last newsletter, it's because we are getting back on our monthly schedule! This issue is packed full of useful relationship tips, another excerpt from our new book, Pure Gold, a way you can get involved in getting Pure Gold out to the public, project news, new services and products, and more. Thank you for subscribing to this newsletter...we appreciate your interest and support. Much of this issue is about the possibility of having peace in relationships and in the home. Popular culture says that all couples fight with one another, and they simply need to be taught to fight fair. We believe couples can, instead, learn communication and behavior skills that virtually eliminate fighting and have couples address and solve their problems. Or, as is sometimes the case, agree that the problem is unsolvable, choose to simply live with it, and peacefully accept it instead. Every couple has unresolvable issues. One of the keys to building a peaceful relationship is to increase the level of spiritual practices couples do with one another. We've included an excerpt from Pure Gold below to give you some insights into this. One of the chapters in the book is also about using the tool of "consultation," a spiritual method of understanding and addressing issues. We highly recommend trying it out.
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New Book Just Released! The following is a excerpt of one of the 52 character qualities in Pure Gold, the quality of Spirituality: Spirituality is our feeling of being connected to God. We strengthen our marriage by carrying out spiritual practices both separately and together. Our spirituality increases as we pray together to God for guidance and for our marriage. The spiritual practice of meditation and the quality of reverence in our attitude and behavior help us to be aware we are always in the presence of the Creator and that all life is precious. We treat spiritual books and other sacred things and places as special. We spend time in places of beauty, and feel awe and wonder at their creation. We seek to have our words, actions, work, and service founded on spiritual values. As we develop our spirituality, the depths of our lives become more tranquil and the strength of our faith becomes the foundation for all of our actions. Prayer invites God to be present in our spirits and in our lives. Prayer cannot bring water to a parched land nor mend a broken bridge, nor rebuild a ruined city, but prayer can water an arid soul, mend a broken heart, and rebuild a weakened will. • What does spirituality look like in our marriage? Where does spirituality build • Are there any ways that our spirituality or spiritual practices could distance TO PRACTICE Y Plan an evening at our home with prayer, spiritual readings, and music for Y Create a place for meditation in our home or find a place outdoors for this
Help Requested with Book Sales Have you ever read a great book and couldn't wait to tell everyone you meet about it? You know what kind of book we're talking about--something that inspires you, excites you, and challenges you to help make a difference in the world. We are looking for people to help share this excitement about Pure Gold! With coaching from our Business Advisory Board, we are asking people globally to purchase Pure Gold in cases of 52 books each and sell them in their local areas, thereby making a difference in marriages with the character qualities. Family organizations, printers of wedding invitations, independent bookstores, gift shops, and more might be willing to carry it. We will give you a 30% discount off the retail price of $16.95/copy (Your total for the books: $705.12 USD plus shipping charges). Boxes are approximately 9"x11"x10" and weigh approximately 25 pounds. Please order a case (not individual copies) on our website, or call us at 216-383-9943 ( 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. Eastern time). Please note: Book sales are the primary source of income for the Marriage Transformation Project and your assistance in helping us reach as many people as possible about marriage education is greatly appreciated.
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Together, agree to use the following technique to increase your understanding of an issue and reach better solutions. It is especially valuable when discussing a complex matter or one that is highly emotional or volatile. Speaker Listener Technique Rules for the Speaker (who holds some kind of object): Rules for the Listener: Rules for Both: Copyright 2001 PREP Educational Products, Inc., www.prepinc.com, The other technique that PREP teaches is how important it is for both of you to agree to call a “pause” if the discussion becomes heated or escalates into conflict. You need to also agree when the discussion will resume. Whoever calls the pause is then responsible for initiating a resumption of the discussion without being reminded/nagged. The pause can be a few minutes, a few hours, or even a couple of days. Whatever is needed. Researchers are discovering that when there are escalating emotions or conflict in a discussion, men physically and mentally very quickly become “flooded” and cannot continue participating in the discussion in a meaningful way. Heart rates, blood pressure, etc. rise quickly, and men then need to withdraw to calm down. It can happen to women too, but it takes more conflict and is less common. It's important in a discussion between a couple that you have mechanisms/cues/etc. that assist you to de-escalate and stay calm in the consultation. Otherwise, it is unlikely to be effective.
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Hurry! Last chance to register!
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Dr. Les Parrott III and Dr. Leslie Parrott write excellent books to support marriages. The following are two of many they have written, in this case for marriage preparation--one for first-time marriages, and the other for re-marriages. Both books also have related workbooks for men and women. Marriage preparation that involves skill building is highly effective in reducing problems in marriage...and determining ahead of time if you can actually create a lasting marriage with someone. We highly recommend the Parrott's books and workshops. You can learn more at www.realrelationships.com. |
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Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts: Nine Questions to Ask Before (And After) You Remarry; 2001; ISBN: 0310207487 |
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Marriage Transformation in the News A well-known author of wedding books, Sharon Naylor, recently requested an article for her website from Susanne M. Alexander about effective preparation for your marriage, not just your wedding day. Inside this informative article, you will learn how you, or someone you know, can do simple steps to enhance your marriage preparation skills and create a happy, lasting, spiritually-based marriage. Be sure to read the complete article linking from the Learning in Action section of our website or link directly to Sharon's website, www.sharonnaylor.net! Also, Susanne has been quoted in some of the Fall regional versions of Modern Bride magazine (Maryland and Chicago for sure; others as well, but exact issues are unknown) in an article entitled, “Marathon Marriages, How to Make It to Your Golden Anniversary--and Beyond” by journalist Tom Murphy. The magazines are on newsstands now. Susanne was able to emphasize the importance of communication, learning about a partner's character, and doing community service together. Information about the magazine is at www.modernbride.com. The Euclid Observer also did a half-page article recently about the release of Pure Gold.
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Working to End Domestic Violence Compassionate Workshops and "Treating Attachment Abuse: A Compassionate Approach" by Steven Stosny are a recommended resource. The book is targeted for counselors, but may be useful to the general reader familiar with counseling language. |
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We appreciate all the feedback we have received about our website! We've enhanced our shopping cart to make the shopping experience easier! Please let us know if you have any challenges. We are pleased and excited to announce new services and products available at www.marriagetransformation.com! A new service being offered is a Relationship/Marriage Assessment and Coaching program. Susanne Alexander, Craig Farnsworth and newcomer relationship coach Ruth Twaddell offer Prepare/Enrich assessment and coaching to couples considering marriage or already married about their relationship strengths and growth areas. Visit our website 's Learning in Action section for more details! We've also added a great accompaniment to gifts for engagements, weddings, anniversaries, or “just because.” The Marriage Prayer Audio Gift Card is a unique gift card that includes an audio CD of the Bahá'í Faith Marriage Prayer, sung by musician Allen Tyrone Johnson. Learn more about this great gift today by visiting the Marriage Transformation Store! We've designed wonderful marriage bookmarks for your reading material that celebrates marriage! We also have several new products under development, including magnets, greeting cards, and a marriage preparation activity book. Be sure to check our Store often for our newest products to enhance your relationship!
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Get the latest news about marriage and the Marriage Transformation Project Monthly news is available by subscribing to this newsletter on the home page of our website: www.marriagetransformation.com. |
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Please contact us at staff@marriagetransformation.com or 216-383-9943 if you have any questions or comments, requests for subject matter to be covered in the newsletter, change your email address, or want further information about the Marriage Transformation Project. If you wish to unsubscribe from this newsletter, please see the link below. |
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Marriage Transformation™ Project
P.O. Box 23085
(216) 383-9943
P.O. Box 23085
www.marriagetransformation.com
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by Susanne Alexander
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by Susanne Alexander
by Joyce Ashman